03 Flashbacks | Marge
03 | Flashbacks | Marge, Acrylic on Chipboard, 44 x55”h, (c) Heidi Jeub
I was a young mom new to town. I was lifted up by strong, local women who had older children, some out of the nest, others about to take off. Marge was one of those women.
Her smile, laugh, and popcorn were contagious. Her stories left us in stitches. Our geekery over gardening and preserving food helped us survive the long Minnesota winters. By definition, we were hippy chics.
Flashback to 2008, election night. You’d think we were watching the moon landing, but instead we were watching Barack Obama win the election, on her small little tv… seriously the size of a my desk top computer… (almost said breadbox, but I don’t know really what size one is). We cried and celebrated!
Now we weep.
Flashback to her story of her goat… dying. I never laughed so hard in my life… seeing exactly what she must have seen, because she could tell me stories that would put me in tears.
Flashback to her kitchen with jars of canned fruit, jam, tomatoes, and dried goods. It was like I was in Mother Earth’s kitchen.. But it was Marge’s.
Flashbacks of our time together back 13 years ago lead us down a series of conversations, but only after we discussed raising kids, but still being women with our own happiness to hold in high regard. We love our kids, but that was not a reason to abandon our own interests or curiosities along the way. We knew that our work, as educators (she was a parent educator and kindergarten teacher), sometimes kept us from our own children, from time to time.
We speak now of similar things, but also the vulnerability of motherhood. She said to me that she saw women at their most fragile moments, not knowing what to do with this little being. As mothers, we held onto that fear of breaking them, well beyond those sleepless nights and first scraped knees. When our girls became rock stars on the soccer field, and we inevitably missed some games or goals. We have to remind ourselves that it is not out of neglect.
Our girls can see us doing our best work, giving to others in the evenings of the week, maybe missing a game or two. Our girls are strong and knew that their goal was for them, not for us.
Flashback to those uncertain days.. Fast forward to uncertain days, today. And we know we did the right thing. The kids turned out a’right. We will be a’right.